


sleepin' makes me feel good

by Jigen



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989), Ghostbusters - All Media Types, The Real Ghostbusters
Genre: Gen, egon is so stupid i love him, i am only ever capable of finishing joke things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 18:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19706623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jigen/pseuds/Jigen
Summary: When Dr. Egon Spengler first proposed the experiment to Dr. Peter Venkman, he was met with a short laugh. When Venkman realized that he wasn't joking, he simply stared at his partner and shook his head."No, absolutely not," he said in a tone of voice that suggested that this was not the first time an ill-formed (and possibly dangerous) idea like this had been suggested to him, and wouldn't be the last. "You arenotdoing that.""Oh, I've already begun the experiment. I just thought it prudent to inform you," replied Spengler in a tone of voice that suggested this was not the first time his partners had attempted to shut down his ill-formed (and definitely dangerous) ideas, and that this time he was going to accomplish them regardless of what anyone else thought.





	sleepin' makes me feel good

When Dr. Egon Spengler first proposed the experiment to Dr. Peter Venkman, he was met with a short laugh. When Venkman realized that he wasn't joking, he simply stared at his partner and shook his head.

"No, absolutely not," he said in a tone of voice that suggested that this was not the first time an ill-formed (and possibly dangerous) idea like this had been suggested to him, and wouldn't be the last. "You are _not_ doing that."

"Oh, I've already begun the experiment. I just thought it prudent to inform you," replied Spengler in a tone of voice that suggested this was not the first time his partners had attempted to shut down his ill-formed (and definitely dangerous) ideas, and that this time he was going to accomplish them regardless of what anyone else thought.

Venkman looked like he was about to have a stroke.

"Spengs, you can't sleep for only _fourteen minutes a day!"_

"I can. According to my calculations, by cutting down on the amount of time spent sleeping, my productivity levels will increase tenfold."

"Jesus Christ, that's not the point--" Peter let out a sharp sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. After a moment or two, Peter leaned over the couch to tap Winston on the shoulder. 

"Winston. Please, tell Egon why he can't do it," he said, desperation in his voice.

Winston looked up from his book-- _The Maltese Falcon_ \--and arched an eyebrow. He then looked towards Egon and carefully evaluated his stony expression.

"He's right, you know," Winston offered. "I'm pretty sure that, um, if you don't get enough sleep, you end up dying. Isn't the longest anyone's lasted without sleep, like, a week or so?"

"I'm not going without sleep," Egon said firmly. "Just that my period of rest will be reduced."

Peter threw his hands up in frustration as Ray walked into the room flipping through a new Captain Steel comic.

"It's like talking to a goddamn brick wall," Peter complained. He turned to Ray in a final attempt to talk Egon out of this. "Ray. Egon says he wants to sleep--"

"For only fourteen minutes a day?" Ray finished, looking up at his partner and grinning. "Yeah, Spengs told me about it the other day!"

The words that were in Venkman's mouth tumbled out all at once, becoming a homogeneous mixture of sound that was spoken in the following manner:

"He--four--buh--you--?"

Ray nodded, seemingly unconcerned by the word salad just delivered to him.

"Uh-huh. I was concerned at first, but then Egon showed me the theoretical steps he would take to make it happen, and I think he's got it all figured out!" Ray said cheerfully. “He’s also recording his daily biometrics to make sure everything’s a-okay.”

Peter just slumped over in his chair, staring holes into the table. "Theoretical steps," he repeated hollowly. "You knew about this and didn't think to tell me or Winston?"

"Venkman, didn't you say that Egon once tried drilling a hole in his head?" Winston said tentatively, glancing over towards Egon.

"I told you that it would've worked if you hadn't stopped me," said Egon, his voice rising in volume.

"Well, _excuse_ me if I didn't want my partner of fifteen years to turn into a ghost prematurely--"

"Will you all quiet down?!" shouted Janine from the first floor. "I'm on the phone with a customer and she can hear you yellin' through the receiver!"

"I'm _NOT_ yelling!" Venkman yelled back. He crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair and scowling. The Ghostbusters lapsed into silence for a few moments as they directed their attention towards Egon. Egon folded his hands together, his expression flat.

Eventually, Winston broke the tension with a question.

"Egon--how long have you been doing this experiment, exactly?" he asked, frowning.

"Five days."

"Uh-huh. Okay." Winston paused, folding down the corner the page he was on and closing his book. He then turned his attention towards Peter. "And in those five days, did you notice anything off about Egon?"

Peter looked away from Winston. "No," he muttered reluctantly. "But there's always something off with Egon."

“So, it looks to me as though he’s got a handle on it for now,” Winston said. Before Peter could protest further, he continued. “ _But_ that doesn’t mean we’re just gonna sit around and ignore it. If we see anything that looks like things aren’t going well, we’ll ask him to stop.”

He turned to Egon, giving him a measured look. “Isn’t that right, Egon?”

Egon met Winston’s gaze and nodded.

Peter opened his mouth as if he were about to argue further, but then closed it, sighing. After a moment or two, he grumbled, “Fine. But you’re going to show the rest of us those biometrics Ray talked about, because we _care_ about you, asshole.”

“Of course,” Egon said, adjusting his glasses. A ghost of a smile tugged on the corners of his mouth.

Ray beamed. “This is great!” he said. “Maybe if this experiment proves to be successful, we could all try to--”

“Ray, please don’t encourage him,” lamented Peter. “We don’t want a repeat of the time you two tried to raise the dead.”

It was Winston’s turn to sputter and stare at Venkman. “They did _what?!”_

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a short quip Egon said once during the Ghostbusters video game about only sleeping for fourteen minutes a day, for some god forsaken reason. This man is an absolute idiot. I love him.
> 
> Title courtesy of Neil Cicierga's [Bustin'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tdyU_gW6WE), of course.


End file.
